Santa decided to give a present
to each person in In-dee-ah
But what should it be? Electricity?
Schooling, Sanitation, or power?
It was obvious they all needed something
And deciding he had nothing to lose,
He called upon India’s leaders and asked them the present to choose

They formed forums, commissions, committees,
but no matter What they did try
Agreement it was not forth coming
Then Arjun Singh he did cry
“This situation it demands a great leader,
I’ll not let this moment pass by,
I’ll go and ask Sonia Gandhi”
And everyone let out a sigh!

Sonia Gandhi was at her most decisive
So she called for her coterie
And they all went into a huddle,
and then about quarter to three
Arjun Singh issued a Statement
Along with Pranab Mukherjee
It said, “The High Command says that
with this Santa we will not deign to meet
At least and until the Government
withdraws dear Rajiv’s name
From the Bofor’s Charge sheet

I K Gujural said, “Let us discuss it,
Discuss it harmoniously
Discuss and discuss and discuss it ,
forever, if necessarily,
The only way forward is discussion,
until finally we all can agree.
Discuss and discuss and discuss it
We could hire a room at the IHC
Discuss, till we reach a consensus
Discuss and discuss endlessly
Discuss and discuss and discuss it
it’s the Gujural doctrine you see!

Narisimha Rao while pouting
said “Let us not be so hasty.
Deciding nothing at all is an option
which has always worked wonders for me.
We can all just sit here and ponder
and think about it constantly
And when we’re forced to make a decision
we’ll go and ask Chandraswarmee

VP Singh found this suggestion outrageous
He said, “A coalition, it is a must,
to work out a minimum programme
of the presents acceptable to us”

And all through the year they did argue
Until Christmas night it did fall
but they still could not reach an agreement
on a present acceptable to all.
They jostled and bickered and disputed
And quarrelled Acrimoniously
Till Advani called out for some order
and said, “The situation is obvious to me.
Let us all look again at this problem
which has brought about this disunity
Forget about the presents on offer
then maybe we all can agree.

The source of our unease it is obvious”
Vajpayee said “I understand,
Undermining our great Hindu culture
is the work of a foreign hand!
This Santa, He does not live here
He is different from you and from me
With his presents he is out to corrupt us.
No one gives presents for free!
Who is he to give out these presents?
Undermining our democracy
If presents are given to anyone
they should be given through you and through me”


Thus they finally came to a decision
on which each party did assent
No presents at all were acceptable -
except to the government.

So next time you are visiting India
And no future for children you see
Don’t blame it on poor old Santa
But on each Indian political party.


Bill Adams - December 1997 (revised '2001)